Archive for the ‘Values’ Category

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New Year Is Time To Review and Reflect

January 15, 2012

Now that it’s a new year, it’s time to reflect upon what happened last year and look forward to the future.

The new year is here. It’s time to reflect back on events, situations and challenges of the past year while anticipating the new year ahead. We may find ourselves thinking, “If only” or “I wish I would have made a different decision.”

On the other hand, perhaps we are content with all of the choices you made and goals you achieved in the previous year. If so, great! Hopefully, we made time to acknowledge and celebrate our accomplishments.

When reviewing the previous year and planning the new year, look at the direction your life is taking. How are you doing? Where are you at in life?

Reviewing and reflecting on how we are currently making our choices in life can often influence what goals we are setting for ourselves. When we know our values and beliefs and commit to those, we will find the choices we make are less of a struggle. We will enjoy living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

You can feel more prepared for the new year by making either some small tweaks or more major shifts with your decision approaches and goal setting.

So, grab your journal or laptop and let’s begin to plan. Be sure to allow yourself a time when you won’t be disturbed. I find it can be helpful to get out in nature. Try heading to a local outdoor spot likeAlta Vista Park in Redondo Beach or Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes overlooking the ocean; this will provide a peaceful surrounding. Here are a few effective tips to get you started:

  • Reflect over the areas of your life you are happy with. What events, situations or people led you in this direction? Become aware of when you tend to allow your logical mind to guide you in your choices or when you are more inspired by your authentic interests or intuition. While our logical mind certainly helps in choosing right from wrong, using our unique talents and skills allow us to be most successful and happy in life. What supports, encourages and motivates you to stay on your current path? Is it trust, faith and belief in yourself, or is it persistence and patience? Imagine bringing these qualities to all the areas of your life and all the decisions you make. Would your direction change? Take time to celebrate your achievements from this past year.
  • Reflect over the areas of your life you are not content with. What events, situations or people led you in this direction? Become aware of how negative self-chatter or limiting beliefs may have played a role. Perhaps you allowed other people’s opinions and beliefs to overshadow your own true values. Choose to learn from these situations and gently remind yourself that they are now in the past. You can move forward by focusing on new actions to take. Write down where you want to go. Choose new actions you would like to see yourself develop. What type of actions would allow you to feel self-empowerment and have more confidence and courage?
  • Reflect on your commitment to your path. You should stick to it—no matter what. How will you overcome obstacles? What self-care actions can you commit to when a crises arises or a challenging situation? What options do you have when someone challenges your beliefs or values? How can you commit to your personal values in all areas of your life—work and personal?

Honoring our values allows us to create goals that are meaningful and live a fulfilling life, and the new year is filled with an array of possibilities.

Read more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books.

Posted in Goals, Inspiration, Review & Reflect, Success, Values | 2 Comments »

Holiday Traditions Bring Comfort & Joy!

December 31, 2011

Holiday rituals can strengthen the bonds of family and friendship and create a connection between past and present.

As we were walking out of Regal Cinemas in Palos Verdes, a friend and I were discussing the local traditional festivities. Perhaps you enjoy Christmas movies, the holiday stroll through Riviera Village, the annual lighting of the Christmas tree and menorah in Redondo Beach or the King Harbor Boat Parade.

Cherished customs allow us to delightfully create happy memories with our family and friends. Rituals keep us grounded and bring us reassurance, comfort and joy. Have you ever noticed when you hear an old carol, see a treasured tree ornament or smell gingerbread cookies baking, your mind instantly transports you to that time and place helping you to recall memories held in your heart?

Whether you are creating beloved festive traditions or repeating sacred ones, keeping family traditions is especially important during the holidays. Here are some of the benefits of holiday traditions, as well as a little advice about how to pass them on:

  • It doesn’t really matter what your tradition is—simply having holiday traditions helps create a strong, close family. Developing rituals creates a sense of belonging among family members and can help build a family history.
  • Holiday traditions generally reflect our deeper beliefs and values, such as the importance of spending quality time with family and friends. Christmas dinner isn’t just a get-together; it is a way of showing we treasure our time with those close to us. If you hold spiritual beliefs, attending church on Christmas Eve may be a deeply held tradition for you each year.
  • You may have many memories—whether tender or funny—of favorite traditions, like a beloved holiday recipe. You might enjoy holding a small gathering to trim and decorate the Christmas tree or getting together with family to light the menorah. These types of traditional rituals help create warm memories for years to come and strengthen the bonds with friends and family.
  • What’s your favorite holiday song? Maybe you have heard Bob Hope and Bing Crosby sing “Silver Bells” on a holiday special. Sharing a special holiday movie or song with your children allows the tradition to be passed on and kept in the family.
  • Traditions help connect family members who may be separated by distance or busy with jobs and school. Holiday rituals encourage us to remain close to friends and family creating a connection between our past and our future.

My family has a special Christmas Eve dinner each year. We still open stockings, and on Christmas morning, we have a special sausage dish that is to die for. That breakfast is followed by another exceptionally planned Christmas day dinner. Nevertheless, it is the company, laughter and memories we share that is cherished most.

This holiday season, reflect on how your family traditions have helped strengthen the ties that bind. Consider creating some new family traditions that help set the tone for your own unique celebration.

Warmest wishes to you this holiday season!

Read more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books.

Posted in Authentic, Family, Gratefulness, Inspiration, Thankfulness, Traditions, Values | Leave a Comment »

Recognize then Replace Negative Patterns

November 29, 2011

A friend called me as she was leaving Spectrum Club in Palos Verdes the other day to tell me what an amazing workout she just had. She said she was happy to be back into her exercise routine after recovering from an injury.

Quick check-in—have you ever noticed how your emotions reflect your actions?

When we are feeling fulfilled in life, our emotions and actions are in alignment—we are living our values. At times, however, certain situations in life will cause our priorities to shift. This is OK for a period of time. Then, it is time to get back on track so we actually feel in alignment with our values and are living them as often as possible.

My friend, for example, had made exercising a priority until she was sidelined by an injury. Getting back into her routine brought her back in alignment with her values, and thus made her happy.

Our values form the foundation for all that we do, think, believe and accomplish. Our values dictate our actions whether we are aware of it or not. Our values—such as spending time with family, getting enough exercise and creating time to learn something new—are what make up our unique self. Our emotional wellbeing always reveals whether we are actually living these values.

During difficult situations and the time that follows, sometimes the way we deal with things falls into a pattern. Depending on the pattern, sometimes our priorities become distorted, preventing us from feeling fulfilled in life.

Whether you dealing with a difficult situation or a transition in life, here are three quick steps to clear out any patterns that may be blocking you from seeing the results you would like in your life:

Review. You can become aware of any patterns that are holding you back by taking some time to review a few areas in your life. Have you found yourself in a pattern of always choosing security over happiness? For example, sometimes we get too comfortable where we are, and we tend to choose security over happiness. This may be present in our careers, relationships and goals.

Perhaps you can sense a pattern in a few areas in your life where you’ve remained stagnant because you are comfortable. Yes, it is important to have a job—especially these days—but ask yourself if your values are real and meaningful to you. You will find satisfaction in a job that is associated with the degree to which your personal values match those of your coworkers. Both people and organizations have values, and they need to be shared values.

Maybe you’ve been doing the same exercise routine for years because it is familiar and safe, and you’ve avoided setting any new goals for yourself. You have fallen into a comfortable routine that has become monotonous, and you are no longer seeing beneficial results in your workouts. You’ve noticed your motivation for exercising is beginning to wane.

Release. Once you are aware of the areas in your life where you are holding back, take some time to let go of what is blocking you from living your values. This may involve going deep and having the courage to really look at your life. Is your career in alignment with your own values?  How about your closest relationships? Research has shown that we tend to find meaning, fulfillment and success when we are supported in our relationships, groups and organizations that share our values.

Perhaps you may need to look at how you view yourself in your life and release the need to be a perfectionist. Are your workout goals unrealistic and causing you to over exercise, leaving little time for friends? Are you working overtime, struggling to make every assignment perfect? Could it be possible that trying to be perfect at everything in life is stopping you from being balanced in your time with friends and family? Maybe you have fallen into the pattern of trying to please everyone and win approval, sacrificing your own happiness. Releasing a pattern that isn’t effective is key.

Replace. Reflecting on what will replace your old, worn out pattern is necessary to determine the results you would like to see in your life. Recognizing and changing your pattern can be a long process, depending on the pattern and how badly you wish to make a change. Be patient with yourself. Slowly let go of the old pattern as you adjust to your new one. Soon the old pattern will dissolve, and you will begin to see more results with your new behavior.

A client of mine mentioned how she feels she is in a vicious cycle of feeling negative about herself because she exercises hard, but her diet keeps slipping—badly. Sadly, she doesn’t see consistent results in her efforts and becomes frustrated. She was aware that she had emotional eating patterns and wanted to release the negative cycle and replace it with a self-nurturing activity. She made a list of self-care acts to choose from whenever the urge to fall back into her vicious cycle of overeating and over-exercising returned. Instead of giving in, my client would choose instead to indulge in a good book or take a walk on the Esplanade.

Life has difficult situations that will challenge our priorities. Sometimes this can feel uncomfortable because all of a sudden some of our values may appear to be shifting. Instead of worrying, we just need to take some time to review what is really important to us. When our values are clear to us, better patterns can be formed.

What type of ways have you found to effectively replace negative patterns in your life? Feel free to share.

Find more Inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books.

Posted in Empowerment, Inspiration, Mind-Set, Replacing Negative Patterns, Success, Values | 1 Comment »

Who’s Behind Your Mask?

November 15, 2011

Whether they’re literal or figurative, masks can’t hide our true character. Here’s how to strengthen positive character traits.

I was walking past Ribbons Boutique, Village Runner and Salon Riviera in Redondo Beach when it occurred to me that during the days before Halloween, you feel this mysterious energy in the air. This magical, mysterious feeling often brings out a hidden side in us—a side often seen in our choice of costume.

Halloween is a fun time when we may attend costume parties, decorate a scary front yard or visit homes on All Hollow’s Eve and get a bit spooked. Halloween is also a great time to try out a new character. Our new identity can even protect us from judgment and criticism.

Let’s face it, many of us spend day after day trying to maintain a certain image and behave in socially acceptable ways, and we will seize the opportunity to express our feelings and desires without worrying about someone condemning us. The great thing about wearing a disguise at a costume party is that we can find comfort in being conspicuous. Wearing a mask or creatively applied make-up can transform us into a character that will keep people wondering in awe all evening—or at least for awhile. We can choose a costume that fits our personality or one that is the total opposite! Either way, we will surly find comfort beneath the mask.

Sometimes in real life, we try to wear a mask that shows the world a different face, and we hide behind it for as long as possible. But no mask can ever hide a person’s true character.

Have you ever thought about the importance of how a person’s character can affect each day of our life? Our true character is revealed by the clarity of our convictions, the choices we make and the promises we keep. What we do defines who we are, so we should feel empowered to hold strongly to our principles!

You may have heard the phrase, “Your true character is who you are around others and when no one is watching.” Perhaps you prefer character traits such as responsibility, perseverance, citizenship, caring, honesty, courage, fairness, respect, integrity and patriotism.

How does character affect our lives? Here are a few tips to strengthen specific positive traits that can improve our overall character:

  • Character is the true foundation for all true success. Keep in mind that a person could have money and power but unless they have character they are not considered to be truly successful. What are some quality traits you admire in others whom you view as a true success?
  • A friend of mine has a son who was struggling with math. He overcame this struggle by being diligent about studying and solving math problems every day. He persevered when he was tired and would have liked to quit. These character traits will encourage him to succeed in many other areas of life. When in your life have you felt like you wanted to quit, but no matter what you diligently focused and conquered your issue?
  • If you really want to achieve a specific goal in life, such as becoming a better runner, develop your skills in part by practicing every day or several times a week. By doing this, you demonstrate determination and persistence. Many of us may have been practicing determination and persistence in our favorite sport or activity from a very young age. Have you noticed how determination and persistence has helped you succeed in other areas of your life?
  • Lastly, make a list of five to 10 character qualities that you would like to either improve on or add to your life. Choose one to focus on each week; make it become a true part of you. During that time, seek to understand as much as possible about the character trait—what it really is, and how it has been illustrated in a positive or negative way in your life. How does this character trait apply to your life situations? Attempt to live your life as if you fully possess the character quality upon which you are focusing. Becoming aware of how the quality—or the lack thereof—is demonstrated in the lives of those around you and evaluate the results and consequences you see in their lives.

We can recognize the vital importance of character to the success of our lives, our businesses and the groups to which we belong. We can seek to influence those areas in our lives that we touch and become more involved in developing better character traits.

Read more Inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books.

Posted in Authentic Self, Character, Goals, Learning, Sunshine, Values | Leave a Comment »

Adjusting to Life’s Changes

October 31, 2011

As I relaxed and enjoyed my smoothie at St. Honore Bistro Caffe in Lunada Bay Plaza, I reflected on how the fall season can be so enlightening. Ever notice how the trees do not seem to hang on to their leaves but embrace the cycle of change? It is as if the trees know that newer leaves can only come about if they are first willing to let go of the old leaves. Trees simply grow; they go through one cycle after another without any resistance.

When we’re in a happy situation and life is going along smoothly, it is important to appreciate that time of joy. While we shouldn’t live in anxiety, fearing that our happiness will be pulled out from under us, knowing that everything changes will keep us from being caught off-guard. A completely unexpected change may throw us for a short time, but we soon recover because we know we can eventually adapt.

When Plan A doesn’t seem to be happening or working out right, how fast do we adapt to Plan B? I’m not referring to huge, sweeping and life-encompassing situations, but those small changes that we can learn to cope with easily.

Some people are able to organize their thoughts in ways that generate appropriate and positive actions. Adaptive abilities are necessary as changes occur within our circumstances and us. Adaptive behavior includes skills that allow us to be flexible when change occurs in our personal lives.

When we are adaptive, we react to unexpected events in creative or constructive ways. We can learn to be adaptive and refocus our mind in new directions and make choices based on the desired outcome. When we are open to change, we know it is the set of the sail that matters—not the direction of the wind.

Here are a few tips on how to adapt to change:

  • Look beneath the surface. Welcoming challenges allows you the opportunity to grow wiser and more skillful. Perhaps someone you know has successfully dealt with the same situation? Seek out a conversation with someone you trust. Even circumstances that seem most frustrating carry within them a new blessing, and when you search for the blessing, you will usually find it. This can be very enlightening.
  • Staying in the present moment can help you conquer any fear. It’s far too easy for your mind to get caught up with regrets about the past or worries about the future. I have found that when I have moments of self-doubt, I focus only on whatever I am doing at the moment. I realize this moment is all I have right now—I may as well enjoy it!
  • Try to reflect on some of the past changes you’ve gone through in your life. Include both the positive outcomes and the negative ones. Regardless of your past, it’s likely that you’ve learned an important life lesson. You may actually want to seek change. I have found that when I keep my life stagnant, I seem to lose out on many important life experiences that offer valuable life lessons.
  • Did you know that writing down your innermost thoughts provides a similar release as confiding with a close friend? Change can be scary, but if you provide yourself with a way to conquer the fear, you can find the courage within you.
  • With a willingness to find positive solutions or outcomes, try to compromise and find ways around problems or situations brought about by change. But, never just give up without proactively trying to manage the situation to your advantage.
  • When you move forward with a change in your life, think it through in a positive way. Instead of thinking about what could go wrong, picture it all going right.

Recognizing that everything eventually changes also provides some evenness to our lives. We’re not riding an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows—everything averages out in the end. We’re grateful for and appreciate the good times, but we don’t let the bad times drag us too far down. Change seems to find us one way or another, and we can learn how to go with the flow and how to let go. It may seem challenging at first, but learning how to better adapt to change can improve all aspects of our lives.

Read more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books.

Posted in Achievements, Authentic Self, Change, Empowerment, Independence, Inner Wisdom, Inspiration, Intuition, Learning, Mind-Set, Success, Values | 1 Comment »

Learn to Live, Age Joyfully

October 14, 2011

Happiness is good for your health—so how do you keep a positive self image even as you age?

I was searching for the perfect birthday card for my 93-year-old grandma at Card De A in Redondo Beach, and it reminded me of what’s become an annual tradition. Each year I ask her what words of wisdom she acquired from the year before. This year, the focus was on maintaining her level of happiness through humor. She makes fun of her memory lapses.

Her inner strength takes my breath away, especially when I notice her small, frail frame. I’m grateful that my loving and supportive parents surround her. Optimism, laughter, being around supportive family members and positive emotions can counteract many harmful effects at any age, especially in our sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond.

We don’t need to wait until we reach a certain age to acquire wisdom and humor; even as we age, we can begin to practice what can help us develop an optimistic outlook on life. Aside from eating right and exercising, it is awareness and knowledge of life experiences, changes in our expectations of life and remembering our sense of humor that contributes to aging gracefully and joyfully.

Many of us would speculate that positive emotions may directly affect health by altering the chemical balance of the body. We can start today, and as we age, we can learn to live more in the moment, appreciate life and experience a sense of satisfaction and well being. Our ability to maintain happiness and peace of mind depends on our attitude.

Here are some tips you can begin using today to ensure a positive attitude about life and aging:

  • Listen carefully to yourself. If you have put yourself down for as long as you can remember—perhaps even since childhood—a lifetime of negative subliminal messages can take their toll by turning you into a pessimist. I encourage you to try to spend one to three days writing down the phrases you use in your “self talk.” Chances are you will find that you repeat several phrases over and over again that reinforce your negative image of yourself. Once you are aware of these phrases, you can change them.
  • If an issue is not resolved, it will continue to fester—you will relive the negative emotions tied to that issue over and over again. Write about what you feel in your journal for about 15 minutes a day for three days. Once you begin to write, don’t stop until the time is up. This exercise will help you organize your thoughts and get negative ones out of your system. Notice how much better you feel about yourself at the end of three days.
  • Seek out new opportunities. Discover new challenges each month. You can feel optimistic when you always have a goal to achieve that’s just over the horizon. When you begin to get close to reaching that goal, set a new one. This allows you to keep moving consistently ahead.
  • Keep fun in your life by eliminating monotony, a sure killer of optimism. Try to do one new thing every week or month. Try a new coffee shop or restaurant, visit a museum, try a new activity or sport, or go to a book signing, lecture or community event. A friend and I enjoyed dinner atTurquoise in Redondo Beach. This was her first time eating there. It was fun to see her enthusiasm and delight when she discovered a new favorite restaurant.
  • Look for a new wonder of nature each day. I marvel each time I am on Portuguese Bend Trail and see the views of Palos Verdes. It’s a tranquil escape.
  • Learn to laugh at yourself. Yes, sad events and situations will come up in life, so allow yourself to experience grief—just don’t let it control you.
  • Lend a hand to someone worse off than yourself by volunteering at a hospital or visiting a shelter.
  • Try meditating for five minutes each day. During that time, make a mental list of at least three great things that happened to you that day.

Simply recalling one episode of anger can depress the immune system; however, remembering a time when you compassionate or caring can enhance your immune system. So laugh a lot! You’ll heal your body and your mind—and feel joyful at any age.

Read more Inspiration in my Uber Empowerment books.

Posted in Aging, Authentic Self, Change, Empowerment, Goals, Inner Wisdom, Mind-Set, Values | 2 Comments »

Discover What Resonates Within You

October 4, 2011

Do you know when a word, a song, a painting, a phrase or something else really resonates within you?

As we left Marmalade Cafe in Rolling Hills Estates, my friend said she was recently reminded of a quote by Napoleon Hill: “Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.”

This quote fully resonated within me.

Something resonates when it reflects back upon us—a certain feeling or emotion arises or a past situation or experience is remembered. For example, many of us have a favorite song that we’ve listened to for many months and many years, and often, the song reminds us of a memory connected with it. Music has a repetitive pattern, and if a song resonates within us, it harmoniously strikes a chord of sadness, longing or happiness—among other feelings—and touches our core.

A quote or poem may have a message that resonates with us. Perhaps when we see a painting of a landscape, we are reminded of a vacation we took, and we feel a tug to go visit that place again.  Sometimes certain words in a song or quote resonate within us, allowing us to connect in a deeper way with our heart. We may feel enlightened and recognize the essence of who we really are. This is where we find our true strength, joy and well-being.

We can become more connected to who we truly are through listening to the voice of our heart.

Our true self always resonates within us. Here are is a exercise to recognize what really resonates within you:

  • First, find a quiet place with no distractions, where you’re by yourself. Then think of all the people you admire—real or fictional, though preferably real, and as many as you can think of. Take time to write them down.
  • Write a quality or adjective next to each of the names, and the reason you admire them. Write as many words as you can think of. For example:
    • Mother Teresa: Selfless
    • Napoleon Hill: Inspirational, Successful, Positive Mental Attitude
    • Winston Churchill: Courage, Boldness, Leadership
    • Student leader: Attractive, Intelligent, Popular
    • A parent: Loving, Dedicated, Decisive, Puts Family First
  • Once you have your list of people you admire and why you admire them, combine all the qualities so each unique quality appears only once. You would have a list of all the qualities that you admire.
  • Ask yourself why these qualities are important to you. Reflect on them.

Usually, this is a list of qualities that resonate with who you really are and what you want, and many of these will align with your core values. These qualities can include love, justice, fairness, forgiveness, gratitude, doing good to others who cannot return the favor, or faith.

Knowing what resonates within ourselves helps us know who we are, which allows us to feel more confident when we stand up for our beliefs.

Discover more about your Authentic Self in my book Uber Empowerment.

Posted in Authentic Self, Empowerment, Inner Wisdom, Inspiration, Intuition, Values | Leave a Comment »

Use Your Imagination to Solve Problems

September 18, 2011

Our imaginations may give us the ability to temporarily escape reality, but they can also help us work through thorny issues.

We all use our imagination, whether consciously or unconsciously. We use our imagination whenever we plan a home improvement project, a vacation or a project at work. Have you noticed how you use your imagination when you describe an event, give directions, write or cook? Everything that has been achieved has been brought into existence is the result of the human imagination.

Imagination is much more than simple daydreaming; in fact, it can be of great value in our lives. A developed imagination does not make you a daydreamer or procrastinator. A strong imagination strengthens your creative abilities, and is a great tool for recreating the circumstances and events you would like to see in your life.

Imagination is a creative power that is necessary for inventing and designing a dress or a building. When I was at Dion Gallery in Redondo Beach, I realized how powerful the imagination could be for many artists. An author myself, I know the imagination provides an infinite source for imaginative thoughts when writing a book. The creative power of imagination can be an important part in the achievement of success in any field. What we imagine with trust, faith and feelings comes into being.

Imagination can help us acquire knowledge through the mental formation of concepts, images and sensations. It can help us with creativity and can be a tool to serve as a response to our personal intentions. Use creative thinking to help you decide how to put together the pieces of a project. This can be especially helpful during business meetings.

On the other hand, imagination can serve as a means of escape, transporting ourselves into a special realm where we might feel very comfortable and relaxed. Children use their imagination like this when they play dress up, portray characters and mimic various scenes that they have read in fairy tales or have seen on television.

Everyone has the potential to develop a powerful, creative imagination. For some of us, it may be highly developed, and in others, it may manifest in a weaker form. Here are some tips to put into practice and grow your imagination:

  • It might be easier for some of us to see mental pictures; however, Imagination does not need to be limited to just seeing pictures in the mind. You can include all the five senses. Try to imagine a sound, taste, smell, a physical sensation, a feeling or an emotion. Training your imagination gives the ability to combine all the senses. This can be very enlightening.
  • Start thinking about writing a story or music. Keep your mind open for opportunities—new angles, plots, characters or melodies and take notes to expand the story/song over a period of time. Refine the story if you want to. When you allow yourself to take your time, new ideas will pop out of your subconscious as you think about it. Remember, this is your creation; you can do anything you want with it.
  • Look deep into any problem you face and imagine different solutions. Try new paths—don’t accept the status quo. If you fail at one task try another approach.
  • Don’t brush aside inspirational thoughts and ideas that pop into your mind. Try visualizing these ideas and plan how you will bring them into existence. Let your mind go—the sky is the limit. Always carry a small notebook or write a note into your iPhone when you have these creative, inspirational random thoughts.
  • Be curious about everything—the world is full of amazing wonders for you to learn about. Enjoy the scenery. I find that sometimes a nice run, walk or even a drive along Paseo del Mar in Palos Verdes helps me to relax, enjoy the view and opens my mind to creative solutions and new ideas. These wonders will become your source for memories and ideas that you can use when needed. Keep developing your natural interests and unique talents. Learn as much as you can about these personal interests and improvise.
  • Build upon and refine the ideas of other people. Always be on the lookout for new innovations that you can improve upon. When a new product or device is invented, consider how it might be improved. Technology becomes more user-friendly, faster and effective. This goes for any product—there is always room for improvement. Even if you’re idea seems like a crazy solution, write it down anyway. It may turn out to be a good idea.

Imagination makes it possible to experience a whole world inside the mind. You can use your imagination to look at any situation from a different point of view, even the past and the future. With your imagination, you can travel anywhere without any obstacles. It can make you feel free from difficulties and unpleasant circumstances. Understanding how to use your imagination effectively and putting this knowledge into practice can help you reach success, fulfillment and happiness.

Read more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books available on Amazon.

Posted in Achievements, Authentic Self, Empowerment, Imagination, Inner Wisdom, Inspiration, Intuition, Mind-Set, Success, Values | Leave a Comment »

What Are Your Core Values?

September 1, 2011

Last week, we learned the benefits of knowing our personal values. Clients have often told me that although they understand the importance of having values, they are not sure what theirs are or how to discover their top core values.

Your personal core values are standards that greatly influence your attitude and character. They are deeply etched into your emotional and mental make-up and are not easily changed. When you wander off your path or lose direction, your top core values will bring you back on track. When you are fully clear on these values, you attract people with like minds who share the same desire to lead a purposeful, authentic life.

Choose a time when you can be alone and not rushed to reflect on the following exercises; I find thePeninsula Library in Palos Verdes to be a quiet place where I won’t be disturbed. You may wish to keep a pen and paper nearby.

  • Ask yourself some simple questions: What are you passionate about? What do you absolutely love to do? What motivates your achievements?
  • Think back to when you were 10 or younger, and come up with two or three experiences that allowed you to feel fully alive in the flow of life. Focus on the type of experiences that were positive moments. Then, list two or three experiences from when you were 11 to 20 years old. Repeat for ages 21 to 30 years old, and so on until you have listed two or three experiences for each decade up to your current age. Include what you did, where you were, how you felt, and maybe even what the outcome was, depending on the experience.
  • Think about the experiences. What made you feel deeply fulfilled?
  • Ask yourself what core values you displayed during for each of those times you listed. Write a word or two that shows the core value that you fulfilled in each example.
  • Make a list of eight to 10 times in the past two to five years when you know you were doing your best. These are the times when you felt you were living your authentic, real, true and best self—your true, authentic core values. Go through this list and write a word or two that shows the core value you experienced each time.
  • Try going to the opposite extreme—consider a situation where you struggled or felt frustration, hurt or anger. Go back to as far back as you can remember, using the same age decades, and list two or three experiences. Even just one negative experience can help shed some insight for this exercise. Looking back at these types of experiences allows you to recognize any authentic values of yours that were violated or ignored. Many times, we don’t seem to recognize our authentic values until something becomes a threat and keeps us from honoring and living these values.
  • Once you have completed your lists, highlight or underline key words and phrases that jump out at or resonate with you. Next, write these words and phrases on a new page. Take a look—do you notice any pattern or theme? Generally, there will be three to five words or patterns that show up repeatedly. These indicate your top core values.

It’s not uncommon for some to find that their core values are not reflected in the way they’re living their lives. This can often be the most uncomfortable part of the exercise. Sometimes closing the gap between your core values and the way you currently live your life requires big life changes.

When you don’t know what your top five values are, life can seem like a senseless race to fulfill one seemingly important goal or another, leaving you increasingly unfulfilled, drained and out of control. Once you are aware of your top five personal values, however, you will find that you are living a more fulfilling and successful life. You can rely on these top values to guide you when making major choices in life.

Read more about core values in my book Uber Empowerment.

Posted in Authentic Self, Empowerment, Inner Wisdom, Inspiration, Success, Values | Leave a Comment »

Define Yourself Through Your Core Values

August 27, 2011

Do you often find yourself questioning or thinking about day-to-day issues differently than you usually do? This is listening to your inner guide. Whether or not we realize it, we all have a set of personal core values.

While we were having a conversation at H.T. Grillin Redondo Beach, a friend of mine confirmed this. He said that although everyone in his family is a doctor or dentist, he knew his purpose and passion was in sports marketing. He pursued this and is living a successful and fulfilling life.

Most of us have lived our lives doing what is expected of us by society. Each of us learns from what surrounds us; however, we have to ask ourselves whether what we learn really affects our own personal values. Often we can feel conflicted when it comes time to make customary decisions about personal preferences, time and money. When we take the time to process what is really important to us, we can live a life by what we truly believe in.

Values are traits or qualities that are considered worthwhile; they represent your highest priorities and deeply held driving forces. Out values are influenced by everyone we know and everything that has happened to us in our lives, including parents, friends, peers, your reading, religion and more.

When we live by our values, our lives become those of our choosing and not directed by the decisions of others. Our values help us build and maintain our identity as unique individuals. Having well-defined personal core values helps us avoid making choices that work against who we want to be. Our values become a clear set of guidelines for our words and actions, consistently moving us in the direction aligned with our highest priorities.

There are many benefits of living by our own core values:

  • When you seek alignment between your words and actions you will feel more fulfilled. Far more important than just articulating your deepest values is demonstrating them. When your values and integrity are in alignment, you will feel fulfilled. Over time, solid neural pathways develop that stimulate certain attitudes and habits, which produce seemingly instinctual “right” actions. These actions are not based on animal instinct; right actions result from human desire and practice.
  • Reduce stress and prevent discontent, conflict, frustration and lack of fulfillment by consciously choosing the values by which you want to live. If living a healthy lifestyle is important to you, you will want to consciously choose to eat healthy, exercise daily, ensure you have quality sleep and manage your stress by maintaining balanced life.
  • You will find you make better decisions in times of confusion or conflict. The main benefit of knowing your values is that you will gain tremendous clarity and focus. By defining a list of personal values that are truly your own, you’ll be better prepared to make decisions. You’ll focus more on what matters. Discovering your values improves the results you get in those areas that are truly most important to you.
  • Your personal core values should encourage you to fulfill your purpose in life. Great personal values that are read daily will uplift and motivate you to take on the day’s challenge. Sometimes it can help to reflect on your personal values while enjoying nature such as a walk or run on one of the many trails in Palos Verdes.
  • Be part of a growing contribution and choose work and community activities that bring you fulfillment and success.

Keep in mind that values should be long lasting; this is about creating your future. Expect that your values will evolve as you grow, mature and gain life experience. This is not about following the latest fad. If you expect a personal core value to change next week, it likely isn’t a top core value.

Next blog post we’ll discuss how to define or redefine our core values.

Additional empowerment on defining your core values is found in my book Uber Empowerment available on Amazon.

 

Posted in Achievements, Authentic Self, Empowerment, Freedom, Goals, Independence, Inner Wisdom, Inspiration, Mind-Set, Success, Values | Leave a Comment »

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