Archive for the ‘No Regrets’ Category

March 2016 Responding Mindfully

March 2, 2016


“As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with love and kindness to whatever may come our way.” ~ Thomas S. Monson

How many times have you said something without thinking? Reacted then regretted what you said or how you behaved? Empower yourself and become aware that you have a choice and can choose to react or respond. Seek to understand through listening instead of focusing on what you are going to say provides some time to create that space  between what has happened and how to respond. Time to collect your thoughts, take some deep breaths and consider some optional ways to respond.

We can practice becoming more mindful through meditation, prayer or quite time spent reflecting. Patience can play a big role in assisting you in responding vs. reacting. What is the difference in responding and reacting?

When we respond it comes from a place of love. It is love based. Responding is based out of a place of respect for all concerned. Responding helps us create boundaries, hold responsibility for our actions. When we respond, we have the opportunity to communicate, cooperate and collaborate more effectively.

Reacting on the other comes from a place of fear based. That old fight/flight feeling. Reacting tends to build walls between us and others. Those who react usually see themselves as victims of circumstances and situations. Reacting causes avoidance tactics and irresponsibilities. Reacting vs. responding often leaves us feeling regretful.

Choosing to reflect on responding instead of immediately reacting can help eliminate regrets. Read here for more tips on living life with no regrets.

There is a saying that life is 10% that happens to us and 90% how we respond. Finding the right words can have a profound impact on your day and with your relationships.

Respond From Love ~ Nancy

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Let Goodbyes Linger in Your Heart

August 18, 2011

We all know it is hard to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is harder than saying hello. We come together but then we must part company.

I was sitting on a bench taking a break from shopping at the Promenade on the Peninsula shopping center in Rolling Hills Estates when I overheard two friends talking about a bittersweet moment.

One of the girls explained how she recently experienced the first time she ever saw her dad cry. For months she had been planning and talking about leaving for college to her parents and friends. She felt her dad was well aware of her upcoming move and was adjusting—but at her farewell party, after the guests left, he said with tears in his eyes, “You are really leaving.”

I can relate. When I moved from my hometown to the South Bay, I had to say goodbye to my dad. This was a moment that brought awareness of that in-between space, where my past was ending and meeting the present. I wasn’t just saying goodbye to my dad; I was saying goodbye to the old and welcoming my new life ahead—new city, new friends, new job.

My parents and I parted with a spoken promise to visit soon. We arranged a trip for the upcoming holiday weekend, which was just a few months away. This somehow made saying goodbye easier.

There are also the airport goodbyes that come when I visit my sister. This goodbye always comes much too fast. Where did our week together go? As we hug goodbye, I recall the first day I arrived for my visit and the excitement of the “hello” hug. We remind each other when the next visit will happen, and we make sure the date is entered into our iPhones.

I am blessed to share a pleasant goodbye with my hairdresser each time I visit Lush Sculpting Lounge. My hairdresser always gives me a warm hug and says, “It is always such a pleasure to see you.” This goodbye is nice. We share a great connection. We know we will see each other in a few months because the next appointment is set.

I also receive a very appreciative and meaningful goodbye from a client of mine each time we talk or see each other. She tells me she loves me and loves working with me every time. We end the goodbye with the next date we will connect.

Sharing a group hug with my friends after having dinner together is a fun goodbye; we part telling each other, “Be sure to call me about the plan for next week.”

Why are some goodbyes so hard? Perhaps it is because we are enjoying the connection and fun this person brings us. If this person lives far away—such as a sister whose home is in another state—saying goodbye between visits can certainly be difficult. Maybe we only have the opportunity to see family members once a year, so when it is time to part, it can be a very tender moment. Over our lifetime we’ve experienced saying farewell in all sorts of ways. We’ve said casual good-byes to the people we’ll see tomorrow, and eternal goodbyes to those we’ll never see again.

You can make saying goodbye easier with some of these tips:

  • Remind yourselves of when the next visit will happen. Making future arrangements can help make saying goodbye easier and gives you something to plan and look forward to.
  • Keep in touch through social media, such as Skype and Facebook. Sharing photos of special moments you spent together and updating each other with photos of events that take place between your visits can keep relationships growing.
  • Call often between visits. Phone calls can keep the bond strong, and it is always nice to hear the voice of someone you are close to.
  • Reminisce with your friend or family after the visit. This can strengthen the bonds of friendship.
  • Send an email. Emails are a great way to keep each other up-to-date, especially with international friends or relatives who live in different time zones. Email offers a convenient way to catch up. It is comforting to wake up each morning and read a daily e-mail from one of my sisters who lives far from me.
  • Let someone know you’re thinking of them through a text message.
Can you recall when you’ve said good-bye or experienced a bittersweet moment? How do you make saying goodbye easier?
With Love,

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Make Every Second Count

April 11, 2011

One second can be powerful. It can be magical, like snapping just the right photo that reveals the true feeling of the moment, or it can be terrifying.

Maybe you’ve escaped harm because you decided at the last minute to linger at the curb just as a car drove through a red light. Seconds can change your life. One minute everything is going just fine; the next, a situation happens, and your day changes course. Depending on the severity of the incident, your whole life could dramatically change.

Last week, I experienced a moment that changed the course of my day. I was waiting to pull out of the Ralph’s parking lot onto Pacific Coast Highway and Calle Mayor in Torrance when I was rear-ended. My car was pushed onto PCH. The accident happened at a busy time of day — lunch hour — and on a busy street. Thank goodness no one was harmed. During the few seconds of the accident, the oncoming traffic had briefly ceased. I consider myself very lucky, and I realized how lucky everyone was.

Moments like these can put things into perspective. I was grateful no one was harmed. Life is short, and time passes fast. We only have so much time. How we choose to spend our time is up to us.

Many of us would say that living a quality life is a value that we think about but often forget to live by.  We wish we would have taken that photo of the perfect moment or that we’d take more photos more often — not only at special events and holidays. Maybe you have wished that you had shared more time with family or friends or that you had taken better care of your health.

If you feel there is something you would like to change, a new activity you’d like to try or just something you feel you really need to do, stop hesitating and remember there is never a guarantee of another second.

Here are a few tips that may help you live a life with no regrets.

Be conscious of your words. Never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings, and if you think you have, make amends, especially with those you are most close to.

Show appreciation for someone who’s been a mentor or a positive influence in your life. If you’ve thought about reaching out and thanking this person and still haven’t done so, now is the time. This will allow that someone to embrace your appreciative message sooner rather than later.

Be thoughtful. Help someone by offering to give him or her a lift to the airport, or run an errand for a sick friend. Often the good intentions are there, but we forget to follow through.

Value your relationships. Make them a priority and spend quality time together. You may have wished you had spent more time with a friend or family member.

Create a list of things you want to do. You know, those things you’ve mentioned you intend to do before you die? Do them. If money is needed for some of them, begin a plan to make that goal happen.

Practice self-care. Take the best care of you. Your health and wellbeing are a big part of living a quality life. I try to get outside every day for a run or walk along Esplanade.

Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Choose to let some things go. Creating a positive resolution is more important than trying to prove you are right.

It isn’t necessary to wait until someone may be facing impending death or to wait for a “better time” to do those things you always wanted to do.

Don’t let the opportunity get lost. Seize the magic of the moment; realize how sacred time is.  You deserve your life. It’s time to live it, be grateful for it, and enjoy it!

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


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