Archive for the ‘Values’ Category

New Year Is Time To Review and Reflect

January 15, 2012

Now that it’s a new year, it’s time to reflect upon what happened last year and look forward to the future.

The new year is here. It’s time to reflect back on events, situations and challenges of the past year while anticipating the new year ahead. We may find ourselves thinking, “If only” or “I wish I would have made a different decision.”

On the other hand, perhaps we are content with all of the choices you made and goals you achieved in the previous year. If so, great! Hopefully, we made time to acknowledge and celebrate our accomplishments.

When reviewing the previous year and planning the new year, look at the direction your life is taking. How are you doing? Where are you at in life?

Reviewing and reflecting on how we are currently making our choices in life can often influence what goals we are setting for ourselves. When we know our values and beliefs and commit to those, we will find the choices we make are less of a struggle. We will enjoy living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

You can feel more prepared for the new year by making either some small tweaks or more major shifts with your decision approaches and goal setting.

So, grab your journal or laptop and let’s begin to plan. Be sure to allow yourself a time when you won’t be disturbed. I find it can be helpful to get out in nature. Try heading to a local outdoor spot likeAlta Vista Park in Redondo Beach or Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes overlooking the ocean; this will provide a peaceful surrounding. Here are a few effective tips to get you started:

  • Reflect over the areas of your life you are happy with. What events, situations or people led you in this direction? Become aware of when you tend to allow your logical mind to guide you in your choices or when you are more inspired by your authentic interests or intuition. While our logical mind certainly helps in choosing right from wrong, using our unique talents and skills allow us to be most successful and happy in life. What supports, encourages and motivates you to stay on your current path? Is it trust, faith and belief in yourself, or is it persistence and patience? Imagine bringing these qualities to all the areas of your life and all the decisions you make. Would your direction change? Take time to celebrate your achievements from this past year.
  • Reflect over the areas of your life you are not content with. What events, situations or people led you in this direction? Become aware of how negative self-chatter or limiting beliefs may have played a role. Perhaps you allowed other people’s opinions and beliefs to overshadow your own true values. Choose to learn from these situations and gently remind yourself that they are now in the past. You can move forward by focusing on new actions to take. Write down where you want to go. Choose new actions you would like to see yourself develop. What type of actions would allow you to feel self-empowerment and have more confidence and courage?
  • Reflect on your commitment to your path. You should stick to it—no matter what. How will you overcome obstacles? What self-care actions can you commit to when a crises arises or a challenging situation? What options do you have when someone challenges your beliefs or values? How can you commit to your personal values in all areas of your life—work and personal?

Honoring our values allows us to create goals that are meaningful and live a fulfilling life, and the new year is filled with an array of possibilities.

Read more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books.

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Discover What Resonates Within You

October 4, 2011

Do you know when a word, a song, a painting, a phrase or something else really resonates within you?

As we left Marmalade Cafe in Rolling Hills Estates, my friend said she was recently reminded of a quote by Napoleon Hill: “Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.”

This quote fully resonated within me.

Something resonates when it reflects back upon us—a certain feeling or emotion arises or a past situation or experience is remembered. For example, many of us have a favorite song that we’ve listened to for many months and many years, and often, the song reminds us of a memory connected with it. Music has a repetitive pattern, and if a song resonates within us, it harmoniously strikes a chord of sadness, longing or happiness—among other feelings—and touches our core.

A quote or poem may have a message that resonates with us. Perhaps when we see a painting of a landscape, we are reminded of a vacation we took, and we feel a tug to go visit that place again.  Sometimes certain words in a song or quote resonate within us, allowing us to connect in a deeper way with our heart. We may feel enlightened and recognize the essence of who we really are. This is where we find our true strength, joy and well-being.

We can become more connected to who we truly are through listening to the voice of our heart.

Our true self always resonates within us. Here are is a exercise to recognize what really resonates within you:

  • First, find a quiet place with no distractions, where you’re by yourself. Then think of all the people you admire—real or fictional, though preferably real, and as many as you can think of. Take time to write them down.
  • Write a quality or adjective next to each of the names, and the reason you admire them. Write as many words as you can think of. For example:
    • Mother Teresa: Selfless
    • Napoleon Hill: Inspirational, Successful, Positive Mental Attitude
    • Winston Churchill: Courage, Boldness, Leadership
    • Student leader: Attractive, Intelligent, Popular
    • A parent: Loving, Dedicated, Decisive, Puts Family First
  • Once you have your list of people you admire and why you admire them, combine all the qualities so each unique quality appears only once. You would have a list of all the qualities that you admire.
  • Ask yourself why these qualities are important to you. Reflect on them.

Usually, this is a list of qualities that resonate with who you really are and what you want, and many of these will align with your core valuesThese qualities can include love, justice, fairness, forgiveness, gratitude, doing good to others who cannot return the favor, or faith.

Knowing what resonates within ourselves helps us know who we are, which allows us to feel more confident when we stand up for our beliefs.

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Discover more about your Authentic Self in my book Uber Empowerment.

What Are Your Core Values?

September 1, 2011

Last week, we learned the benefits of knowing our personal values. Clients have often told me that although they understand the importance of having values, they are not sure what theirs are or how to discover their top core values.

Your personal core values are standards that greatly influence your attitude and character. They are deeply etched into your emotional and mental make-up and are not easily changed. When you wander off your path or lose direction, your top core values will bring you back on track. When you are fully clear on these values, you attract people with like minds who share the same desire to lead a purposeful, authentic life.

Choose a time when you can be alone and not rushed to reflect on the following exercises; I find thePeninsula Library in Palos Verdes to be a quiet place where I won’t be disturbed. You may wish to keep a pen and paper nearby.

  • Ask yourself some simple questions: What are you passionate about? What do you absolutely love to do? What motivates your achievements?
  • Think back to when you were 10 or younger, and come up with two or three experiences that allowed you to feel fully alive in the flow of life. Focus on the type of experiences that were positive moments. Then, list two or three experiences from when you were 11 to 20 years old. Repeat for ages 21 to 30 years old, and so on until you have listed two or three experiences for each decade up to your current age. Include what you did, where you were, how you felt, and maybe even what the outcome was, depending on the experience.
  • Think about the experiences. What made you feel deeply fulfilled?
  • Ask yourself what core values you displayed during for each of those times you listed. Write a word or two that shows the core value that you fulfilled in each example.
  • Make a list of eight to 10 times in the past two to five years when you know you were doing your best. These are the times when you felt you were living your authentic, real, true and best self—your true, authentic core values. Go through this list and write a word or two that shows the core value you experienced each time.
  • Try going to the opposite extreme—consider a situation where you struggled or felt frustration, hurt or anger. Go back to as far back as you can remember, using the same age decades, and list two or three experiences. Even just one negative experience can help shed some insight for this exercise. Looking back at these types of experiences allows you to recognize any authentic values of yours that were violated or ignored. Many times, we don’t seem to recognize our authentic values until something becomes a threat and keeps us from honoring and living these values.
  • Once you have completed your lists, highlight or underline key words and phrases that jump out at or resonate with you. Next, write these words and phrases on a new page. Take a look—do you notice any pattern or theme? Generally, there will be three to five words or patterns that show up repeatedly. These indicate your top core values.

It’s not uncommon for some to find that their core values are not reflected in the way they’re living their lives. This can often be the most uncomfortable part of the exercise. Sometimes closing the gap between your core values and the way you currently live your life requires big life changes.

When you don’t know what your top five values are, life can seem like a senseless race to fulfill one seemingly important goal or another, leaving you increasingly unfulfilled, drained and out of control. Once you are aware of your top five personal values, however, you will find that you are living a more fulfilling and successful life. You can rely on these top values to guide you when making major choices in life.

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Read more about core values in my book Uber Empowerment.

Define Yourself Through Your Core Values

August 27, 2011

Do you often find yourself questioning or thinking about day-to-day issues differently than you usually do? This is listening to your inner guide. Whether or not we realize it, we all have a set of personal core values.

While we were having a conversation at H.T. Grill in Redondo Beach, a friend of mine confirmed this. He said that although everyone in his family is a doctor or dentist, he knew his purpose and passion was in sports marketing. He pursued this and is living a successful and fulfilling life.

Most of us have lived our lives doing what is expected of us by society. Each of us learns from what surrounds us; however, we have to ask ourselves whether what we learn really affects our own personal values. Often we can feel conflicted when it comes time to make customary decisions about personal preferences, time and money. When we take the time to process what is really important to us, we can live a life by what we truly believe in.

Values are traits or qualities that are considered worthwhile; they represent your highest priorities and deeply held driving forces. Out values are influenced by everyone we know and everything that has happened to us in our lives, including parents, friends, peers, your reading, religion and more.

When we live by our values, our lives become those of our choosing and not directed by the decisions of others. Our values help us build and maintain our identity as unique individuals. Having well-defined personal core values helps us avoid making choices that work against who we want to be. Our values become a clear set of guidelines for our words and actions, consistently moving us in the direction aligned with our highest priorities.

There are many benefits of living by our own core values:

  • When you seek alignment between your words and actions you will feel more fulfilled. Far more important than just articulating your deepest values is demonstrating them. When your values and integrity are in alignment, you will feel fulfilled. Over time, solid neural pathways develop that stimulate certain attitudes and habits, which produce seemingly instinctual “right” actions. These actions are not based on animal instinct; right actions result from human desire and practice.
  • Reduce stress and prevent discontent, conflict, frustration and lack of fulfillment by consciously choosing the values by which you want to live. If living a healthy lifestyle is important to you, you will want to consciously choose to eat healthy, exercise daily, ensure you have quality sleep and manage your stress by maintaining balanced life.
  • You will find you make better decisions in times of confusion or conflict. The main benefit of knowing your values is that you will gain tremendous clarity and focus. By defining a list of personal values that are truly your own, you’ll be better prepared to make decisions. You’ll focus more on what matters. Discovering your values improves the results you get in those areas that are truly most important to you.
  • Your personal core values should encourage you to fulfill your purpose in life. Great personal values that are read daily will uplift and motivate you to take on the day’s challenge. Sometimes it can help to reflect on your personal values while enjoying nature such as a walk or run on one of the many trails in Palos Verdes.
  • Be part of a growing contribution and choose work and community activities that bring you fulfillment and success.

Keep in mind that values should be long lasting; this is about creating your future. Expect that your values will evolve as you grow, mature and gain life experience. This is not about following the latest fad. If you expect a personal core value to change next week, it likely isn’t a top core value.

Next blog post we’ll discuss how to define or redefine our core values.

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Additional empowerment on defining your core values is found in my book Uber Empowerment available on Amazon.

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