Posts Tagged ‘Life Coaching’

June 2017 Stay Calm, Focused & Empowered

June 2, 2017


Creating boundaries is crucial for our emotional and physical wellbeing. We often know what our boundaries are, but find that it isn’t always easy to communicate and honor them when the situation arrises. It takes awareness to recognize when we are hesitant or even holding back from communicating our needs and boundaries. There are generally a few reasons why we do not express our boundaries:

  • Guilt. We can’t say “no” without sensing it would disappoint someone else or feeling responsible for other’s happiness.
  • Fear. Fear of rejections, abandonment or confrontation.
  • Unawareness. Many of us were never taught what healthy boundaries are.

Knowing our values and communicating our boundaries keeps us in alignment with who we are. Boundaries are the limitations we set for ourselves and others. They can be both physical and emotional. When we do not honor our boundaries, this can lead to anxiety, depression and in some cases, lead to stress-related physical illness. You will recognize when the need is there to create a boundary because you may be feeling a sense of resentment, anger or you find you are complaining. A physical boundary can be when you feel your personal space is being invaded (the rule: “knock before entering” vs.  just barging right in) or someone reading through your personal emails. An emotional boundary can be something like sacrificing your plans, an activity/hobby you really enjoy or even a long-term goal in order to please others. When we make self-care a priority, we are ensuring our wellbeing (physically, emotionally and mentally) is being taken care of and boundaries will need to be created per situation, as it arises.

Here are some tips when you need to communicate your boundaries so you can stay Calm, Focused & Empowered:

  • Calm Be calm, but firm. Setting boundaries takes some time. Boundaries will continue to arise with new challenges and different situations. Calmly recognize when the need arises. And next …
  • Focus Keep focus on your “why”  the reason you need this boundary. Be direct. Communicate boundaries clearly, but keep it short. You do not owe an apology or need to justify yourself. You are only really responsible for holding respect to your boundaries, communicating your needs. You are not responsible for how the other party reacts to the boundaries you have. Most likely, you will be tested. The other person will most likely make another attempt (especially those who like to be in control or manipulate). Keep focus on why this boundary is necessary for you. It is important to remain firm. Your actions/behavior should match your boundary; otherwise, this can send confusion and mix messages and the boundary you are striving for becomes unclear to the other person and can cause added anxiety/stress to you. And finally, focus on how you want to feel …
  • Empowered Setting boundaries takes practice. At first, you might feel embarrassed, guilty or even selfish. Your boundaries and needs are different than others, so be strong and determined. It is empowering to create, set and keep boundaries.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation that requires you to set a boundary, remember to stay calm, focused and empowered.

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April 2017 Act With Courage

April 3, 2017


Can you recall a time when you did something you felt was very courageous? Or, perhaps there is something courageous that you need to do? When someone has shown courage, this reflects a very admirable trait that tends to earn respect. Courage is often seen as a valued quality in business or when someone has pulled through a time of extreme struggle. Some experiences and situations that call for courage:

  • To be authentic. Authenticity requires courage to be who you are. 
  • Having a big, lofty dream or feeling a nagging pull toward trying something new. Courage is needed to follow your heart and dreams, even when feeling doubt or fear and choosing to take the first step toward your new endeavor. Just because you are deciding to take a risk or try something new, doesn’t mean you have to go full force. Take one step at a time, wait and see the results and then take the second step. Cautiously keep going until you reach your desired result.
  • Persistence, persevering through obstacles and challenges. When striving for a new goal, one of the most challenging obstacles may be bearing the difficulties calmly without complaining. Limit the assumptions and allow perseverance to inspire you to achieve the results you want. 
  • Stepping out of your comfort zone. Courage is definitely needed if you want to try something new or experience unlimited opportunities in life. Sometimes we are averse to trying something new because we think we will fail – but failure can teach valuable lessons
  • The courage to say “no”. Perhaps you feel you have all you can handle with projects, activities and responsibilities. When someone makes a request for your time and energy, having the courage to say “no” can do wonders for your well-bing, health and peace of mind. 

Focusing on using courage during a time of uncertainty requires a state of mind. We can use courage during both major situations and when facing more minor issues. It is important to develop courage because this helps empower us to face problems head on. We develop experience even if we don’t always get it right or things did not turn out perfectly, we can use the situation as a learning experience in what we gained from it, the new skills we acquired, appreciate the wisdom and knowledge and use all of this information as preparation for any future challenges or uncertainty that comes are way.

We can develop courage when we are aware of any fear or doubt that tries to creep in. Experiencing some fear is inevitable. Recognize it for what it is and allow it to inspire, motivate your willingness to be courageous. Take a look at what the consequences would be if you DIDN’T have courage to take action and allowed yourself to stay stuck in fear. The consequences of not meeting you dream can help inspire you to find the courage and take the next required step. In order to build courage, it is crucial to have the right mindset and imagine positive results. Think of a past experience when you felt fear, yet took appropriate action anyway and succeeded. 

Lastly, have self-compassion for your fears and any negative beliefs that tend to creep in. Acknowledge the fact that you are aware of them and have the willingness to shift your perspective to positive steps that will help get you closer to your goal.

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Act With Courage!


January 2017 Reflection

January 2, 2017


My hope is that 2017 will be a year that allows you to have a deep faith within and to have the courage to keep believing in your natural gifts and best strengths. May this new year bring awareness on how you can make a difference in the world through using your unique skills and talents. Open your heart to all that life has to offer you and to recognize and embrace the special moments in life and allow those moments to create real, true connections with those who support your highest purpose.

May 2017 inspire your heart and soul to become your Uber Self. Know that you are doing the right thing when you are trusting love, trusting life and trusting the right time. Stay open. Accept and trust your choices. Erase doubt. Know that your purpose is real and allow it to happen; keep trusting through it all. Create your purpose and bring your passion alive.

Whatever information or messages our higher purpose may need for more awareness each day, embrace and trust all the knowledge, insight and wisdom to bring the clarity you need.

Taking time to reflect in solitude can offer inspiration and open up all the possibilities of creating what you truly want in your life. Consciously choose to focus only on what most inspires your mind, heart and soul. When your heart is open you can see the light inside. Allow your light to radiate like a beam of sunshine. Take time each day, for reflection … A time just for you and you will experience transformation and personal growth in your life.

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Warmest Blessings in 2017,


December 2016 Alignment

December 2, 2016


“Intuition is the language of the heart; the alignment of your personal truth. Always listen to the voice of your heart, this is your True Authentic Self” ~ Nancy

Ever notice how much more fulfilling life can be when you surround yourself with people who value love, truth and integrity? To recognizing when you are in alignment with your values and experiencing an authentic life, is to know when you are and when you are not living your life with integrity.

The meaning of integrity is personal and individual to each of us. Knowing what your definition is can be very helpful when you need guidance with major decisions and choices in life. Perhaps your definition of integrity might be to do what you promised or have said you would do. Ideally, when your actions match your words – When your life and actions align with your beliefs, words and behavior – this is when you will know you are living an authentic life with integrity. See people for who they really are, especially yourself.

You can be fully aware when you are in alignment with your authentic life and living with integrity, by noticing certain positive physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual sensations within yourself. Think back to a time when you had to make a major decision and you just knew you were making the right choice because you felt in alignment with living your authentic life. How did you feel physically? Emotionally? Intellectually? Spiritually? Here is an an example:

  • Physically: You seem to have a spring in your step. You smile easily. Often, you experience an inner knowing and there is no tightness, but a lighter feeling.
  • Emotionally: You feel uplifted, energized, peaceful, joyful, fulfilled and “in the flow”.
  • Intellectually: Things seem to make more sense, thoughts connect you to the right resources at the right time and you experience an inner joy.
  • Spiritually: A feeling of calmness, a heightened awareness. Being able to create effortlessly for a long time; creativity seems to flow through you from a higher source.

Alternatively, the opposite sensations, such as more negative sensations, can occur when you are not in alignment with living your life with integrity to your authentic values. You might notice the “red flag” inside of you that seems to act as a warning message when you may be out of alignment of your core values and the situation would not be for your highest good. The next time you are experiencing misalignment and a stressful internal conflict, take a minute to get in tune with yourself. Ask yourself what you are feeling, thinking, sensing on the following levels:

  • Physically: Is there a sense of tightness in stomach, shoulders or somewhere within the body that you are very aware of ? Perhaps you feel you might be sighing more often or not breathing as deeply.
  • Emotionally: You may be feeling frustrated, stressed, confused, disappointed and overwhelmed.
  • Intellectually: Lack of clarity, your thought process takes more energy, it is hard to focus, you are feeling bored.
  • Spiritually: Feels as if a big rock is in all of your chakras and a lack of flow, disconnected to Source. Feeling “stuck”.

Being aware of and knowing what the sensations are when you are in alignment or experiencing misalignment, is the key to the guidance that we seek when making decisions, choices and setting the right intentions. When we live a life based on our true core values and integrity, our hearts are more open and we can trust our intuition.

Something inspiring seems to happen when listening to the spirit and love within. Your heart has a way of guiding you in choosing what is right for you. When all your energies and focus are going in the same direction, life seems to flow a little better and amazing things can happen! Trust your intuition to show you the correct path, the right answers. When “yes” seems to equal your core values, this is always 100% and in alignment with living your authentic life with integrity.

Nothing is truly meaningful unless doing it authentically and with integrity. It is like living your life unconscious. Being conscious of who you are and your authentic preferences equals a better chance of living a fulfilling life based on your true core values and integrity.

This month and beyond, focus on living your life with integrity according to your authentic true core values and be in alignment so your actions match your intentions ~ Nancy

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Taking Action on Decisions Moves You Forward

November 22, 2011

Starbucks or Coffee Been and Tea Leaf I thought to myself. Both conveniently at the corner of South Elena Avenue in the Riviera Village, I have a choice. This choice was refreshingly easy considering how my week had been going. After all, most of us have found ourselves having to make decisions that are more nerve-racking, perplexing and unpleasant.

For those more difficult decisions to be made, I have always felt it is best to allow some time. Trying to make major decisions when our brains our tired – if we had a long day at work, when we are hurt, depressed, angry or frightened is not the ideal time. It is best to make decisions when we are calm and thoughtful so we can have well focused thinking that allows us to make choices for the right reasons.

When there is just too much going on it can be counter-productive to make a decision. Going on vacation or giving yourself a free weekend of relaxing gives your mind a rest from focusing so intently on the issue while allowing the options to play around in your head.

But all decisions to be made, get to a point where it is time to make a transition from thinking about options to actually following through on the choice we’ve made. Once a decision is made it is time for action. We can have a list of choices to choose from but not taking action on any of them is like preparing to live without really living. For some of us, listing all of our options is the easy part. The tricky part can be moving to action once a final decision has been made; it is often the hardest part and we can even feel “stuck”

Here are some tips to go from thinking to doing:

  • Knowing who you most want to be in the world, your purpose helps to make more effective choices now and in the future. This allows us to keep moving forward and resist feeling stuck.
  • Recognizing what your top three to five core values are helps making choices easier. When we know what our top core values are and we are living these values in our life every day or as often as possible, we are usually feeling fulfilled. Naturally, we would want to make decisions that continue to allow us to live our top values and take action on them.
  • Integrate your observations, experience and knowledge and put what is right and true into action. Often our minds automatically will think “Will I be able to do that?” or “ What is this good for?” these type of questions can frequently hinder our efforts from moving forward with our decision. A more motivational approach to move into action might be to do a quick check in to keep you on track. Notice what thoughts cause a feeling of lightness in your body. This often indicates the right choice. Notice what feelings cause tightness in your body. Your body could be communicating that this may be the wrong choice. Feelings that feel light are a spring in your step, a lightness, moving gracefully with your head held high. Feelings in your body indicating a possible wrong choice are when we feel cramped, actually feeling down, shoulders hunched forward, as if a weight were dragging us down.
  • Be aware if you are just procrastinating and why. Life is synonymous with growth. We need to weed out our limitations and grow with new strengths. To refuse to take action suffocates us. Think of the flower that has outgrown its container. In order for it to bloom fully it needs to be replanted in a larger pot.
  • Get moving. Yes, move your body. When your body is moving it can think better, make faster decisions and begin to take action. Especially, when you are feeling stuck. Can you recall yourself saying at one time or another that you just need to “Shake it off?” or “I need to step back from this for now?” When we can understand that these are expressions of how we want to distance ourselves from the issue, this can help us remember that when our body is moving, we think differently. We tend to think better and with more clarity. Our thoughts become “energized” as our body begins to move toward the decision we made.

What are some effective methods you’ve used to take action on a decision you’ve made?

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Turn Frustration into Faith

September 10, 2011

On days when life gets rough, use these tips to overcome frustration and move back on track.

It is easy to get frustrated when you have a day filled with things that are not going right. Yesterday, my air condition stopped working in my car. Today, my laptop decided to take a rest or have a sick day and now refuses to boot up. A document I wrote didn’t get saved, and I had to retype it. Perhaps for you, you find yourself getting frustrated when you are stuck on the 405 Freeway or you can’t get your newborn baby to stop crying.

I decided to take a break from the chaos and spend some time in nature. I took a walk on The Esplanade. Smelling the ocean, feeling the sun on my skin and moving my body seemed to have a fast effect, shifting my perspective—or maybe in this case, my attitude—to a more positive place. I realized I had a choice: I could continue my day feeling overwhelmed with frustrations, or I could allow the frustrations to strengthen my faith that all would be well.

I’m not saying this was easy, but it certainly felt more empowering. Frustration happens when we feel we need something, and we can’t seem to find a way to fulfill that need. We want things to go smoothly; when things don’t, we become discouraged and frustrated.

Here are some tips to help turn your frustrations into faith and empower you during life’s challenges:

  • Try using fresh optimism, which can help revitalize your energy. This is the type of fantastic energy that gets you motivated, makes you focus forward and reminds you about the limitless potential and possibilities that lie within you. You can gain fresh optimism on your own or by talking to a variety of positive people in your life—be it a mentor, sibling or friend.
  • Recognize if your frustration is coming from a place of fear. Realize you always have a choice. You are empowered to accept, reject or redirect whatever comes your way.
  • You can feel calmer and more peaceful when you recognize that you are feeling frustrated because something isn’t moving as fast as you would like. Know that everything happens for a reason and in the right time.
  • When you find yourself in a situation or with a challenge that just seems too big for you to climb, know that you have support. Reach out to positive people in your life and share your concern. How many times have you been there for someone who felt they were not going to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but your encouragement helped your friend to go above and beyond?
  • Take a break. Take time out. I did. Take a walk. Get out in nature. Be by yourself. This will help clear your head and put things into perspective. Shake off the frustrations by going for a run, walk or any other type of physical movement.
  • A coffee break with a friend can help, too. Talk it out and hear a fresh perspective. This can shed some light on a new approach for you to try or help you view things from a different perspective.
  • Write down your frustrations in your journal. (You knew this one was coming; I’ve suggested it before.) Writing out your disappointments, challenges and frustrations allows you to express your true feelings and emotions in a healthy way. Writing about the circumstances you are dealing with also allows you to look outside yourself and gain a fresh view and possibly create a new solution.
  • Whatever the frustration you are dealing with, give up the victim mentality. It is easy to want to throw in the towel and quit. Don’t. Frustration often occurs because things seem too difficult for us to handle. Perhaps it is because we feel we don’t have the skills, knowledge, or techniques necessary to have what we want. This can be the perfect opportunity to view what frustration can provide: new opportunities to grow and to gain self-empowerment. Remember that life happens to everyone; others have gone through similar situations; and somehow you will get through this, too.
  • Tap into your creative side. Tinker or dabble with some of your projects such as painting, home improvement projects, gardening, cleaning or listening to music. Focusing on something creative will help you feel better almost instantly and will allow you to reconnect with your core self.
  • Change your mindset. Believe that you can handle all your frustrations with empowerment and in a positive way. Imagine yourself achieving your desired outcome. Picture yourself handling the situation with calm and ease. You might not know all the steps of exactly how you will solve the situation, but don’t let that stop you. You can still take the time to visualize and feel yourself being successful.

A positive mindset will inspire you to keep moving forward with empowerment and faith. You can keep moving forward with empowerment in my book Uber Empowerment.

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Find Perfection in Imperfection

August 11, 2011

While sitting on the patio at Chez Melange in Redondo Beach, my friend and I discussed how wonderful it feels to know you did your best at something—even if the outcome may not have been ultra-perfect.

Some of us are perfectionists. We strive for perfection in every area of our lives, including our hair, grades and relationships, as well as in areas we may not even be interested in. We may even compare ourselves to others we see as flawless to the point where we might find ourselves trying to top their achievements.

Sometimes we tend to allow our self-imposed perfectionism to carry over to those around us. When we expect zero mistakes, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Leaving some room for error or improvement allows us to take on enough challenging endeavors and avoid disappointment. We can still set high standards for ourselves and we should; however, we can create unnecessary stress when we are hyper-critical of mistakes in ourselves and others.

Many times, we’ve had teachers, mentors, family members or leaders with dictatorial styles and high standards, creating unrealistic ideals that encouraged perfectionism. Failure to live up to these ideals may have caused us to develop a sense of inadequacy, which makes us want to try harder to prove ourselves through actions and accomplishments.

Nevertheless, we can change our perspective to one of demanding perfection to one of knowing we did the best we could at something that held great meaning to us. The latter is an empowering feeling—knowing we gave something our all while not quitting too soon or giving up. Perhaps the outcome wasn’t what we had hoped for, but we know deep inside that we did our 100 percent best to reach a goal that was very meaningful to us.

Here are some tips to overcome perfectionism:

  • Be aware of your motivations for perfectionism. Look back in your life and try to identify incidents that contributed to shaping your perfectionist mentality. Did someone pressure you to be perfect in all your endeavors? Is it because people underestimated your abilities and you felt you needed to prove yourself? Is it because you attach your sense of self-worth to the results of your actions? Whatever the reasons are, become aware of them, recognize them and understand that these do not define who you are.
  • Continue to hold your ideals and set high standards for yourself. These serve as goal markers, results and motivation sources. The goals are not the problem—it’s the attachment to the goals that can create stress. Accept your goals as directions to work towards and not absolutes that you need to achieve. This way, it does not matter if you do not reach the ideals because they are not who you are or who you should be.
  • Let go of negative thoughts. Are you beating yourself over something that could have been better? Stop. You did what you could within that particular context. Focus on what can be done. Forget about mistakes that were made in the past that you cannot do anything about. Learn from them and move on; obsessing over them does not change anything at all. Realize that the time you spend thinking about your mistakes actually takes you away from time that you can be spending on more productive things instead. Stop worrying about things that are not within your locus of control, such as the future or perceptions by others.
  • Delegate and let go. Have faith in other people’s abilities. If they do not seem to be doing a particular task correctly, teach and help them instead of taking over entirely. Find ways to lighten it up and learn to laugh at yourself. Keep your life in balance by participating in fun recreational activities, do not deprive your social gatherings or time off from work.
  • Celebrate progress. Acknowledge everything that you do, regardless of the outcome. Celebrate your victories when they come along—you have rightfully earned them!

Remember, our imperfections fit us perfectly and make us unique humans.

Find more inspiration in my Uber Empowerment Books. Get a sneak peek at some of my Uber Empowering Quotes in this video and you will find more empowerment quotes in my books.


Find more Inspiration in my Uber Empowerment books available on Amazon.

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